First Turning Sixty As The New Beginning, Now Twelve Years Later

My 7th birthday

In seven days I'll be turning seventy-two.  This has been a monumental year and not all events were positive either, who knew or even imagined how 2020 would play out?  It has been a thinking year, my brain has grown at least two inches.  I say this because someone told me that when my thinking causes a headache it means my brain is growing.

In 2008 when I turned sixty, the first shock I dealt with was to accept that I don't have as many years ahead that I had in the past. In one day, being 59 and waking up the next day 60, I went from not even thinking about my foreseeable future to maybe fifteen or twenty years left. Retiring hasn't been what I expected. Before making my decision, I talked with retired people, my mom especially, and their suggestion was don't retire.  It gets boring pretty quick.  Yet, one morning in March 2016, I woke up and realized I was tired. I'm still nervous about the money, but God said "do not be anxious for He will take care of us", so I'm claiming that scripture. 

I enjoyed my work, I was the Secretary/Treasurer as well as the Accounting and Office Manager for the company, a plumbing supply house.  Of course, it helped to know my boss's daughter was hired to learn my job.  She expressed to me once that her working at the office during the summers with me is why she went to college and earned an Accounting degree. She will be a good accountant as she likes detail work as much as I do. She'll be good at the job.

Once I retired, my daughter wanted me to sell my house and come live with her. I would have liked that, except she lived in Oklahoma a long way from Alabama. My mother was still alive at the time and I felt that I needed to stay and help my brother take care of her. It was a good thing too as she had a mini stroke in 2016 and needed someone around 24/7. She moved in with me; at the time I didn't understand her delaying giving up her apartment. She died on September 10, 2017, at which point I decided to move to Oklahoma. It was traumatic giving up my home of fifteen years and going through everything I'd accumulated through my adult life, deciding what to sell, give away or just throw away. It was at that point, I understood why Mom delayed doing the same thing when she moved in with me. She married at sixteen and had accumulated sixty eight years of material goods as well as giving up her independence. In hindsight, the passing time seems like the blink of an eye, yet living it seemed like I would live forever.

As I look outside the sun is brightly shining here today, I have Baybay my cat laying on my arm while I type.  I'll be talking with my daughter soon; and I have wonderful memories, so all in all it's a great day. 

Shelby and BayBay

Sweetie Pie and BayBay

The first year of being Sixty-contd

My daughter and grandkids 2008-when I turned 60

To continue from yesterdays post, there were other positive results from having knee surgery, besides being able to walk, such as having my daughter and grand kids come from Oklahoma and stay with me two weeks. I thoroughly enjoyed having them around. Even with all that child energy popping about! They've reached that age where they will sit and talk a while.

Jennifer, my daughter, is my best friend. She's a great cook, much better than me; truth be told, I hate cooking, I can, but it's not up there with things I really enjoy doing. When she was growing up, I had to work full time, it was just her and me,so we ate a lot of canned and frozen foods, rarely did we have cooked from scratch meals. I have a feeling I owe my sister Susan and my sister-in-law Nancy for Jennifer's love of cooking. They both are really good cooks and enjoyed teaching her. Since she does love to cook, the two weeks she was taking care of me while I recouped from the knee surgery, I had DELICIOUS  meals! She made this Mandarin orange and pecan salad that was to die for!

She, Shelby and Sean arrived on Sunday the 22nd of December after I had the surgery on the 17th. They were able to stay until January 3rd. One of Jennifer's many good points is that she's a caregiver.

Shelby, Jennifer and Sean 2008 OSU Campus

Sixty is just the beginning Or so I keep telling myself!

By Judy 1995

On October 21st, 2008, I turned sixty. I really didn't think much about it, I mean, just another day. My health had been good, I had a good job, my daughter and grand kids were fine. So what if I turned sixty.

Just goes to show that life can get back at you or God really has a sense of humor! On Friday I was fine, then on Saturday I helped my niece load a piece of furniture onto her truck, turned around to go back into the house, when the most awful pain ran through my left knee. I thought I had twisted it, nothing more. But as the days went by it reached the point where I would have to hold to the wall to walk, and I didn't read the Aleve directions, just thought Aleve is like Ibuprofen, I could take two every four hours. Not so, you are only to take two a day! Needless to say, the pills upset my stomach one night to the point I thought I was having a heart attack. I waited until the next morning, then I drove myself to the emergency room, just in case it turned out to be my stomach and I wouldn't be embarrassed by calling an ambulance. Of course my brother got upset with me, he said "What if I had passed out or something while I was driving?". My response was that I'd still end up at the hospital. He didn't think it so funny. Though driving myself to the hospital probably wasn't a good decision. Isn't it strange how people deal with not embarrassing themselves? Now my sister and brother would have handled it totally different.

Have you ever had a drug induced stress test? That's one of the tests they did on me to determine the condition of my heart. One minute I'm sitting there talking with the doctor and nurses. One starts injecting a fluid into my IV, when suddenly, I couldn't breathe. The doctor said, "Hang in there, it will be over in a minute, pat your right foot up and down!".

I asked, "What does patting your foot up and down do?"

She said, "Nothing, but it takes your mind off what's going on."

I looked at her and said, "Well, you can stop telling people to do that because it doesn't work!"

Have you ever had a sonar of your insides? It is so cool! Everything looked good except they discovered two gallstones in my gallbladder. They weren't near the opening, nor could they tell how long they had been there. But unless they gave me a problem, they wouldn't do anything as the only solution would be to take my gallbladder out.

The hospital gave me a clean bill of health, except no one checked out my knee. So for another two weeks I hobbled around until I couldn't stand it any more. My regular physician sent me to an orthopedic doctor, his name is Dr. Tim Cool. I had several x-rays, then they sent me to a room to talk with Dr. Cool. He showed me the x-rays, the cartilage or cushion was completely gone, it was bone on bone. His answer, total knee replacement! What I heard him say about what he would do in surgery and then recouping afterwards was nothing like the real thing! But I knew the second step I took the morning following the previous afternoon's surgery, that it would be worth it! I had the surgery on December 17, 2008, at times now I forget that I ever had the surgery. It was painful at first, but I hung in there with the physical therapy and now the only pain I have is when I travel down steps and it's not really a pain but a stretch. Doing the physical therapy and having a great doctor is the answer to having a successful knee replacement. I've talked with others who had the same surgery, but quit their therapy once they were able to walk about and drive. They ended up not having full use of their knee. At work, we have an exercise room with weights, such as lifting weights with my knees and pressing a plate with my feet (my favorite, it makes my back and legs feel good after I stop).

It's time for bed, so I'll continue my year on the next post.

Memoirs: Recreating Memories

Me , 1 year 8 months

     Rather than sharing my memoirs, I'm going to share what step or how I'm coming up with what to write. I just can't imagine anyone but me and my family being interested in my memoirs.

     What I'm doing is writing down what I remember at each age of my life, plus going through pictures and recording what I know about the picture, such as who the people were, what we were doing and when this happened.This week I'm continuing with how my parents met, where we lived and the occupation of my parents. I knew that my Dad had just returned from World War II, he was an MP stationed in the Philippines, but it surprised me that when he returned home, he drilled wells, water wells. It seems that in the middle 1940's, people were expanding their farming acreage, adding running water, which increased water demand. You would think in Alabama and Georgia it would be easy to dig wells; not so, there actually were shell rock and red soil that caused problems. He and the men he worked with, traveled across Alabama and Georgia digging wells.

     I have a question, are memoirs recreating my memories or is it okay to bring in what I learned in my research, such as where we lived and my Dad's occupation, memories that I don't have but that affected and shaped my life? I'm going to go with I'm recreating and they make what I'm writing interesting.

Col Mustard 2009

     

It Took Longer Than I thought To Retire!

Kelly, Judy, Liz & Marci

     Last August I posted that I intended to retire; so it took a little longer than expected.  I worked through March 2016 before finally not returning to work. It's different than I expected. I'm not bored, I've had more invites to do stuff than I expected, to the point I'm not fulfilling the main reason for retiring, writing. 

     The first rule I'm learning is to say no, why?

          1. People hear you're retired and comment "since you're not doing anything, could you do this 

               for me, now that you have the time".

          2. "So you don't get bored, you need to become involved in doing this..."

      I'm sure people mean well, but really, I have goals and it involves having an at home work                        schedule.  Plus I've worked for 50 years and I want to enjoy eating breakfast at eight a.m. and            watch the squirrels and birds while I drink my second cup of coffee, maybe even a third; so 

         what if I sleep past five a.m. even nine a.m. Though I have a hard time about sleeping past nine.

         I feel like I've wasted most of the day, (though once, the first couple of weeks, I slept till eleven

         a. m., I couldn't believe it, and I didn't even have that "ugh" feeling. 

     The second rule is stop spending my money, do not touch my savings account! I have been sur-

prised by how fast it is going. If I'm not careful I will be back working parttime.   

     All and all, so far, I'm enjoying retirement. I'm even mowing my yard again. 

Sweetie Pie and BayBay, Best Buds!

At Sixty, I'm suppose To Behave How?

Picture by SSpatz 2012

 Picture by SSpatz 2012

    This week I've had an epiphany. Sometimes I've been confused as to what I want my blog to represent, then I ran across a blog site "Grandma's Brief's. It made me step back and take a look, I am a grandmother, a mother and over sixty, so why am I not posting more about this area of my life? So I'm rethinking what I want to say!
     Have you ever thought about flying, like the gulls in the above pictures? Feeling the wind under your wings, looking down at the earth, gliding along, tilting one way and then another, hearing the quiet. It must be amazing.

It's My One Year Anniversary For Blogging!

Max, Christmas 2008

In October 2008 I turned sixty and it seemed I fell apart as well as my world.  I'm one who's rarely ever sick, or at least I ignore it because I don't like going to the doctor. Within days after my birthday I began having to deal with one physical problem after the other.  It became overwhelming.  During this time I began reading my niece's blog about her new baby and the daily events in her life.   In August 2009, I discovered blogging!  It became a whole new world!  The writing, the reading of one blog that led to another blog, I was hooked.  I have throughly enjoyed meeting my blogging friends, watching them grow and expand.

So lets celebrate a year gone by!   Here's the link to my very first post   The First Year Of Being Sixty and Total Knee Replacement!                       

Sixty-A Short Elevator Pitch For My Blog

The Sits Blog has been sponsoring 31 days to a better blog.  The first step is to do a short elevator pitch of what your blog is about, in other words, put into words what is the purpose of Sixty is Just The Beginning. If you want to check out the 31 days you can go Here

When I first started blogging, it was to put into words how turning sixty changed my life, how in just one day the overwhelming thought "I'm sixty, now what?  The day before, I felt as though I had a whole lifetime ahead of me, then it seems in one day, my life fell apart.  Thoughts of all that I haven't accomplished came to mind, then I started subtracting 60 from 75, or 80, even 90. Suddenly, I didn't have a lifetime, but 15 years or 20 years, at the most 30. Talk about falling into the emotional dumps!

So I think my short elevator pitch is "trying to pull together turning sixty, how I made the journey and now that I've arrived, what can I do and how far can I go".

At one point I made a schedule as to what I wanted to blog about on each day:
     Sunday-Let's Travel To (one of my favorite days)
     Monday-Any Old Subject
     Tuesday-Old Pictures
     Wednesday-Wordless Wednesday
     Thursday-Pets
     Friday-Promote a favorite or new blog I've found
     Saturday-Family History

I have four blogs that I post on, Sixty Is Just The Beginning, A Creative Writer In Progress, Judy's Not World Shattering Thoughts (which I've turned into the complete Harper line) and Arville Harper's Family Line (this starts with my granddad, then his children and grandchildren. I think Sixty has been the hardest to define.

So, I guess I'll see how this goes.  At least writing down the short elevator pitch has helped me to visualize what I want this blog to say. I know I'm going to redefine the days.
     Sunday-Travel
     Monday-My Air Force Journey
     Tuesday-Any Old Subject
     Wednesday-
     Thursday-
     Friday-Promote A Blog
     Saturday-

I'll have to ponder on what to post about for Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.  One blog that has mastered the "what to post on certain days" and really does a great job is Arlee over at Tossing It Out
Another blog I like to read, simply because she makes her every day life so interesting, she's originally from Ireland, but married a man from India, and a lot of her posts are about blending the two worlds, you can see some of gaelikaa's posts at Gaelikaa's Diary. Another blog that has mastered her posting days is Journaling Woman, Here . Her post today is titled "Inside The Sandwich", have you ever been in a room full of people, sitting there, watching them, and see their smile slip away? Do you ever wonder why?


Two other blogs that I think has mastered what to write on particular days is Stephen Tremp over at Breakthrough Blog, though my favorite posts of his are about wormholes and the Theories he has. I have to say when I want down home posting I go to Lou's for On Larch Lane, this link takes you to one of my favorite posts, "Porch Memories".


Another blog I like to read is unusual and controversial, to say the least, I'm never sure if he's serious about what he writes, I mean is he writing about a subject because that's what he believes or is he doing it to get people to think; because a lot of times I sit there and wonder, "no way".  It's like Lee says from "Tossing It Out",  Stephen T. McCarthy's Stuffs and Ferret-Faced Facist Friends  -- Sorry, Stephen, I'm not really giving you any award, this is just a way for me to plug your excellent blog.  If any readers have never yet checked out these blogs then you should do so ASAP because they are worthwhile. You might be entertained at times, but more importantly you might receive some important education. 


It's time to put this post to bed! 

SIXTY-Hometowns & Favorite Swimming Holes

Desota Falls, Alabama (Picture by Christi Spatz 2010)

I call Henagar, Alabama home, even though I only lived there for four years.  I was born at Fort Payne, Alabama, though my family lived in Rome, Georgia, Fyfee, Alabama then we moved to Rossville, Georgia, which is close to Chattanooga, Tennessee. My dad dug wells so we traveled around a lot, it was difficult to have best friends as just when I began to know someone, we up and moved.  So I got into the habit of not really becoming close to anyone for fear we'd move again.  That is until we finally landed at Henagar, Alabama.  Here I became friends with two girls, but particularly with Martha.  We talked on the phone, went to each others house and were best friends at school, sharing a lot of the same classes.  So I always think of Henagar as my hometown. The place where I grew up and became an adult.  

I've met people from all over the world, and I found that I love the south, Alabama in particular.  As I sit here typing, I hear the katydids making their night sounds.  I know if I open my door and step outside, it will be a hot and sultry night. If I go out on my deck, above the sound of the katydids, I'll hear the cars off in the distance, maybe even hear the radio of a passing car.  As I sit in a deck chair, I can lean my head back and see stars.  Occasionally, a plane will soar overhead, the roar of the engines taking people to new places or back home.  I'm sure most everyone calls the place where they have their fondest memories home. 

I've visited Desota Falls shown in the picture above.  I've never swam there, but there are other places where we did wade and splash.  I remember spending summers at my grandparents where me, my brother and cousins would walk down to this creek close to their house.  The water was so cold and clear you could see the gravel at the bottom of the creekbed, the gravel looked like speckled pinto beans with nuggets of white rocks mixed in. We never had swimsuits, we'd just jump in with our shorts on. By the time we walked home our clothes would be dry. I can't imagine, now, jumping so carefree into a creek.  I'd first want to make sure there were no snakes.  I miss that freedom of trying anything without fear and worry of what might happen.  

SIXTY-IS IT REALLY THE BEGINNING!

1966

                                                                                  1996

2009

I look at the pictures I've posted above and wonder if sixty is the beginning.  I can't say I was excited about turning sixty, because I wasn't.  It made me start thinking about where I've been and how much time I have left, what will I do with th3 remaining time. I mean, I'm still trying to decide what I want to be! Though it seems I've spent most of my life trying to make that decision, being pulled in one direction, then seeing something else I wanted to do and switching to that path.  Looking back, I think I wasted a lot of time waffling, rather than sticking to what I dreamed about when I was twelve and on into my teens. There were two dreams I had, that of being a writer and wanting to be a heart surgeon. Later in life, I think being a heart surgeon was something to please everyone else.  Supposedly I was smart and could "do anything". Unfortunately, in 1966, that wasn't really for women, as schools weren't geared to help women find scholarships and schools or becoming a professional.  Especially, rural high schools. I did manage, on my own, to be accepted at Auburn, Alabama college of pre-med program, I even received a small grant. 

As a child, what personality did you have? Where you a Sanguine, happy, center of attention, always seeing the positive in life? Or were you a Choleric-bossy, the leader who gets things done or comes up with great ideas of things to do, know it all, thinking "hey, it's not my problem if they can't see what's right? Or maybe a Phlegmatic-easy to get along with unless someone pushed you to do something you didn't want to do, or at least right then; stubborn could be another description, can be a leader if needed, but usually waits for others to start, good with others (later on as an adult, with kids)? Or a Melancholic-the quiet one at times, shy, unsure; loved to draw, paint, write, but never aware of how good you are, always questioning your talent?

Me, I'm the Melancholic, mixed in with Phlegmatic.  I loved to read and pretend I traveled to the places I read about.  When I was between ten and twelve I wrote a story that someone said was really good and when I was in the tenth grade Literature class, my teacher, Miss Blansit, continually praised my writing.  Our final project in the class was studying Macbeth and our final grade depended on doing something relating to the story.  I wrote a suicide letter from Lady Macbeth.  Miss Blansit asked if she could keep it, because she had never had anyone do that before and it was good.  She wanted to use it in future classes. Talk about being on top of the world! I kept a journal and was faithful up until 1997, then my journals became sporadic writing. I never really focused on being an author.  I let life interfere.

I didn't go to college, the grant I received only paid for books, not for room and board.  My mom had a car accident and any funds from my family were impossible.  So I joined the Air Force, because, at that time, getting married, having children and living on Sand Mountain wasn't something I wanted to do, even though I let myself become engaged to a really nice guy.  Every time he wanted to discuss a date or where, I became antsy, I felt trapped.  Years later, I envied those who did fall in love, bought a home and had a stable life.  I wondered if what I did was worth it.  Joining the Air Force was exciting and strange as it may seem, my mom was for it, though my dad wasn't.  I was only seventeen when I graduated in May 1966 and you had to be eighteen to join.  So I had to wait until November 1966 to officially join.  I remember my luggage and trunk packed with clothes, an iron, bed sheets and towels.  We had to bring all things needed for hygiene and beds.   My family drove me to the bus station at Huntsville, Alabama where I then headed to Nashville, Tennessee to be sworn in and fly to Lackland A.F.B., San Antonio, Texas! I actually flew on a plane! I remember standing with the other men and women who had joined, being sworn in to "protect home and country".  It was awesome, even choking me up and bringing tears to my eyes! I was finally needed for what I felt was an important duty. Plus it was exciting! Not knowing what was ahead, I now had started my life and maybe I could do "anything" I wanted.  It was the feeling among the group of young people I was with, it was during the Vietnam war.  We were going to make a difference!

I'm going to have to continue this story tomorrow. So y'all have a good day, enjoy the summer Sunday.  Actually, I'm not able to walk today, that's the reason I'm at home rather than at church.  I have an appointment with my orthopedic doctor tomorrow.  It seems my right leg, especially the knee and hip, is giving me a problem, I'm having trouble sitting and getting up, kinda painful! So y'all have a good one!

Sixty is just the beginning Or so I keep telling myself, contd-October Birthday

In ten days I'll be turning sixty-one.  As I've stated earlier, I'm looking forward to changing numbers because sixty has been such a monumental year and not all events were positive either.  This year has been a thinking year, my brain has grown at least two inches.  I say this because someone told me that when my thinking causes a headache it means your brain is growing.

It's taken most of the year to accept that I don't have as many years ahead that I had in the past.  But I think I can still accomplish something with my life and enjoy what's left.  As far as retiring, that one is still out.  I talked with retired people, my mom especially, and their suggestion is don't retire.  It gets boring pretty quick.  I'm still nervous about the money, but God said "do not be anxious for He will take care of us", so I'm claiming that scripture.

I enjoy my work, I'm the accountant and office manager for the company I work for, a plumbing supply house.  Of course, it makes me think to know my boss's daughter was hired to learn my job.  I'm glad on the one hand, especially since because of her working there during the summers with me she went into accounting,  she will be a good accountant as she likes detail work as much as I do. On the other hand, I hope it will take five years for her to learn my job.  I'm counting on the fact that she just graduated this past December and she's only twenty-five so she'll probably want to get married and have children, stay at home a few years before I retire and then come back to take my job over completely. She'll be good at my job.

I also thought about retiring at sixty-two, but continue working.  I'll find out from Alabama'a Social Security department to see the limit that can be earned and still draw social security.  My daughter wants me to sell my house and come live with her.  I would like that except she lives in Oklahoma and I like living in Alabama where all my relatives are.   Could be one day y'all enter an Alabama Walmart and see me as a greeter.  They certainly seem to enjoy their jobs.

All of you young people, save your money!  Tear up those credit cards!  Listen to Dave Ramsey and follow his guidelines to being debt free!  Get a hobby and build on that hobby so you'll have yourself an enjoyment to look forward to, don't be a workaholic!  Of course, you probably think yourselves an exception and after all, it's still a long way off.  In years, maybe, but in hindsight, it's like the blink of an eye!

The sun is brightly shining here today, I have Max my cat laying on my arm while I type.  I'll be talking with my daughter soon.  It's Sunday and a great day.

Max and Shelby

Just a lily from my front yard

Mandy (black & white) China Doll (white with patches)

Sixty is just the beginning Or so I keep telling myself, contd

     I was reading Amber's post "I can Heal My Life, at http://believingsoul.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-can-heal-my-life.html . I understood her, because turning sixty is my year of " can't wait to turn over into a new year".  One day I'm fifty-nine, doing fine physically, financially and emotionally then sixty and my health falls apart (had to have a total knee replacement), due to our sales dropping off at work, I'm making $800 a month less and  I realize I'm not financially ready to retire , then I start thinking about how few years I may have left which spirals me into a low!  It is so difficult to function on two levels, that of pretending the world is fine, no problems, smile, go to work and then the hidden level.  The level of just wanting curl up in bed, sleep, watch TV, not really watching, it's more staring, seeing figures on the screen, but not really aware of what they're doing or whats going on.  Just stay at home and not participate in the world.  Let one day slide into another. What an existence!
     Thankfully, I have had several saving graces to turn me around, one is doing the physical therapy from the knee replacement, I've continued on with doing exercise which helps with the stress and I've lost thirty-eight pounds.  Spiritually and financially are intertwined, I've always known God is there, but I try to control my life.When growing up we were very poor, I think I'm afraid of being in the same situation that I've tried to control every aspect of my life, therefore placing perimeters on God. One area I'm working on is tithing, how much and when .  It's hard to not have every cent accounted for, that is to say, I know I have this bill to pay, so I'll have to pay it on this date, it will be there.  The insight I have about this is like a marriage, (I was only married three months so I don't really have this experience, also, I realize all marriages aren't this perfect, I digress, this is another story), where your husband is the sole means of finances, he pays the bills, he keeps up with the bank account.  You rely upon the fact that when you go grocery shopping, the money will be there or if you need to go to the dentist, the money will be there.  You don't question this.  You just know it will be so.  This has been so hard for me! This area is a real test of my faith and spiritual growth.

     Emotionally, I have my daughter, Jennifer, my granddaughter Shelby, my grandson Sean, my sister Susan, my Mom and my nieces-in-law Laura and Britt to thank.  Jennifer is there to listen, Shelby and Sean came to visit me a week in June.  When there is a ten year old and a seven year old around, I didn't have too much time to think about me.  This was the first time I just had them, usually their mom also came.  We did so much and had so much fun enjoying each others company that the week went by so fast, I couldn't believe how fast!

     Britt & Jeffrey


Brian, Lily, David & Jeffrey

     My niece-in-law Britt is such a joy.  She has the best sense of fun.  We email back and forth.  She sends me the best emails.  I'm paraphrasing the following statement , because I know I won't get the correct words or exact happening, but it makes me laugh.  Britt has this bubbly personality, when she first met her future brother-in-law, Brian (who has such a dry sense of humor, plus being 6' 7" inches tall), she ran across the room, grabbed him around the neck, gushing out words.  He wrapped his arms around her (like the gentle giant he is) and starts poking her on the back, like he trying to find a button or switch,  saying, "How do you turn her off?" I can just visualize the tall man and this petite woman, what a scene!

Laura &  Lily

     My niece-in-law Laura introduced me to the prize though, blogging!  She has a blog, http://thealabamaharpers.blogspot.com/, Corporate Law, Mommy and Rocket Scientist, the family story of three.  This is about their life with their beautiful one year old daughter, Lily. Laura was a corporate lawyer, though now she's a stay at home mom.  David is the rocket scientist.  When he was a small child, he built rockets out of the tubes from paper towels or toilet paper, cotton balls and glue.  It was not usual to be at their house and find paper towels with centers resting on itself.  Needless to say, it's awesome to see a child grow up and work in the field of his childhood dreams.  Blogging has been a life savor. I wanted to be a writer as a teenager, along with being a heart surgeon, needless to say, I'm not a heart surgeon, but I always had it in the back of my mind I would be an author some day.  Once I started blogging, it's like a dam has burst and I've so much to say that I can't stop writing.  Blogging has been my solstice, the respite from sitting in front of the TV letting each day slide by. The practice of making time and stringing words together.
     I have Elizabeth Harper to thank for her Tuesday Morning writing blog, http://tellmeastorytuesdays.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/tell-me-something-new-writing-topics-seventh-tuesday//  for providing a place to share our fictional writings.  She posts pictures with captions, we then choose a picture, then create a story.
     While I still have the same situations, they've become manageable.  I don't know what's going to happen, but rather than fearing the outcome of my future, I know I will survive, mainly due to God and people I love, and who love me.  Fear is still a part of my life, but I can squelch it down and reason it out.  Because I'm sure turning sixty-one isn't going to solve my problems, though it will help remove the stigma of being sixty.

The first year of being Sixty-Total Knee Replacement-Ouch!

After I came back from surgery, my sister-in-law, Nancy, stayed with me.  My leg was all bandaged up,three times the normal size.  Plus they had a Demerol drip attached to my arm.  When I started feeling too much pain, just push a little button.  This is a wonderful device!  Of course, I only had it from 4:00 pm on Wednesday, till 9:00 am on Thursday.  I can see how people get addicted to Demerol, that is until it upset my stomach. I probably shouldn't have pushed the button so many times Thursday morning, but the nurse said, go ahead and use it.  Of course I know that the doses are set for ten minute intervals and wouldn't come out before that time.  Between the Demerol and Tylenol, my stomach was really upset!  I know, Tylenol is suppose to be easy on your stomach, but not me.  It makes me nauseated!  Plus they wanted to give me a pain shot that didn't work.  Finally, the night nurse came in and gave me a wonderful shot that helped with my pain. Those night nurses are wonderful.

When I first considered the Total Knee replacement, I had in my mind that I would take as little pain medicine as necessary.  You see, I had only had surgery one other time, that was when I had my complete hysterectomy in 1984, at the age of 36,  thirty-three years earlier.  Trust me, if I have another surgery, I will make use of pain medicine or if it's not working, push for something that will.  Because I now know, three days being in the hospital won't get me addicted to any of the medicine.  I won't try going it alone again. And it's not that I was in excruiseating pain, but an uncomfortable constant ache, just enough to make you irritable and well "uncomfortable".

Thursday morning, by nine o'clock, Physical Therapy was there to "help me walk".  It was a slow process moving my leg to the side of the bed, sitting there letting my stomach and head settle.  Physical Therapy had brought me a walker to use.  You wouldn't think one day could make a difference!  The day before I walked in, nervous, and a lot of leg pain, but at least I could take care of myself, but that Thursday, when I stood, I was weak as a newborn baby.  I stood holding onto the walker, literally shaking, hearing the Therapist urging me to take that first step, sweat popping out on my forehead.  But I did it!  I took my first step and thought I would pass out, hearing "try another step", thinking "yeah, right"!  But I did take another step and that's when I knew the surgery was worth it!  While the pulling of the stitches (which ended up being my worst pain) hurt, the placing of the foot on the floor and putting pressure on it, wasn't anything like before the surgery where when I took a step, I had to hold onto the wall to keep from falling.  I even took three more steps forward and four steps back to the bed.  By Friday, I was getting up by myself and walking and by Saturday, they had me walking the hallways and up and down steps, just two, but hey, it was progress!