It's Hard Being A Parent To A Parent

Grandson and my Mother 2014

     My Grandmother was forty-four years old when she had my Mother in 1934. My Mother's youngest sister was six years old and her oldest sister was twenty-nine. My Aunt Edna said they spoiled her rotten. Still, it wasn't an easy life. She had nieces and nephews older than her and had to compete for Grandma's and Grandpa's attention.

     My Mom only finished the eighth grade, but in her thirties she studied and took the GED test for her diploma so she could apply for jobs that needed a high school education. She has a strong personality, a choleric temperament, which means her way was pretty much what she expected. Now me, I'm melancholic and phlegmatic. After I became an adult, this caused problems because the more she pushed, the more I dug in my heels. 

     My Mom is now eighty-five and has done great until the last few months when it has been apparent she's losing her memory and her mobility is getting restricted. At her insistence, she still lives in her apartment, even though we've tried to get her to move into a retirement home. I know that letting go of that last bit if independence is hard.

     My Mom has known her Bible forever, so it surprised me when last Friday, the 22nd, she asked me a question from her favorite book, Revelation. And then this past Friday, the 29th, she asked me another question. It shocked me and made me pause and realize in just two weeks her health was getting worse, I even wondered if maybe she had suffered a mini stroke. 

     It's hard watching a parent's health decline.  

Mom And Throw In A Great Sister-in-law!

Mom and grandson playing with water guns..

Mom, 1947. in her wedding dress

My sister-in-law hamming it up!

My sister-in-law, she is the "Beaver's" type of mom! (But a lot of fun!)

My Mom is eighty years old and still lives alone and takes care of herself.  I'm not sure what we'll do when she starts to need personal care. Mom can be a handful at times.  She does better with my brother more so than with me.  Usually he or I take her out to eat on Sunday, if LH isn't in trial and has to work all weekend. Which was the case this weekend.  My sister-in-law called me Saturday morning suggesting that since LH wouldn't be able to take her out on Sunday, how about she and I do it Saturday.  I agreed and gave my Mom a call, which means we spent five minutes trying to decide what time to meet as it didn't matter to her, "but she ate a late breakfast".  

Finally it was decided we would meet at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants at noon.  NH is more like a sister than a sister-in-law.  There have been times when people have thought we were sisters.  My brother chose a great person to marry. 

It was a good lunch, but it's like NH and I agree on, sometimes it's better to have two or more along when we take Mom out.  Negativity can be so draining and when there's two, subject changing can be swapped off, rather than having to walk on egg shells alone!

When we were kids, any trips we took outside of going to my grandparents was due to Mom.  She taught us games, painted our rooms and made our clothes. I know y'all have heard about clothes made from flour and seed sacks, well I had a few of those outfits. Mother could really sew, she sewed like a professional seamstress. She also taught us games and gave me Sears catalogs to cut out pictures as paper dolls, even took an empty Hershey's  metal container and cut seats like a car.  It was so cool. At some point she changed or I grew up and recognized her behavior. I really regret the difference. But thanks for sisters and sister-in-laws!