Monday, August 1, 2016

It's Hard Being A Parent To A Parent

Grandson and my Mother 2014

     My Grandmother was forty-four years old when she had my Mother in 1934. My Mother's youngest sister was six years old and her oldest sister was twenty-nine. My Aunt Edna said they spoiled her rotten. Still, it wasn't an easy life. She had nieces and nephews older than her and had to compete for Grandma's and Grandpa's attention.
     My Mom only finished the eighth grade, but in her thirties she studied and took the GED test for her diploma so she could apply for jobs that needed a high school education. She has a strong personality, a choleric temperament, which means her way was pretty much what she expected. Now me, I'm melancholic and phlegmatic. After I became an adult, this caused problems because the more she pushed, the more I dug in my heels. 
     My Mom is now eighty-five and has done great until the last few months when it has been apparent she's losing her memory and her mobility is getting restricted. At her insistence, she still lives in her apartment, even though we've tried to get her to move into a retirement home. I know that letting go of that last bit if independence is hard.
     My Mom has known her Bible forever, so it surprised me when last Friday, the 22nd, she asked me a question from her favorite book, Revelation. And then this past Friday, the 29th, she asked me another question. It shocked me and made me pause and realize in just two weeks her health was getting worse, I even wondered if maybe she had suffered a mini stroke. 
     It's hard watching a parent's health decline.  


Rummuser said...

I was the sole caregiver for my 95 year old late father during his last four years of life. I can relate.

Judy Harper said...

It definitely is hard, especially when they don't have any hobbies are interests. Your care probably was more physical, lifting and body care; or was he able to take care of himself?

Rummuser said...

i had hired help for the physical aspects towards the end. Prior to that he was quite mobile and capable of taking care of himself. My tension was primarily due to his behaviour towards me and others.